I read a news story today about a plane that was forced to land because several passengers reported catching a strong smell of sulfur in the cabin. Upon further investigation, they found that a woman had passed gas, and lit a match to try and cover the smell.
First of all, I wish that this had been a guy, because for the rest of his life he could have bragged about his ability to bring down planes with the power of his backside. To guys, this would have been a funny story, and a badge of honor for all time. This woman, I'm sure will be very embarrassed and looking for the first boat to Siberia and a name change form.
I mean, my imaginary guy could have forever referred to his rear as his "anti-aircraft cannon". I'm sure the women reading this blog are already rolling their eyes, but for some reason this stuff never stops being funny for guys. It's as if it's built in somehow.
My biggest fear is what effect this might have on airport screening. I'm just imagining some adaptation of the "breathalizer", if you get my drift.
At least no one was hurt, and maybe this will help to improve airport food over time.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Jaco Van Zyl is The Man!
They say that Q school is the toughest test of nerves in sports. I'm sure that there are plenty of other things that rank up there but for golf fans, this is it.
The ultimate disappointment is to miss a put on the last hole and miss your card. I really feel bad for those guys. On the other side of the coin is Jaco Van Zyl. This guy started the 6th and final day 8 strokes back of the top 30 and a PGA Tour Card.
He closed like a champ and shot a 64 to get his card on the number at -8. I'm impressed. To come through like that on the toughest day in golf is just amazing. I can't even get the ball off the tee when I have shot at shooting under 45 for nine holes.
Clearly I'm going to be a fan of this guy and keeping an eye on his progress in the upcoming season. I really hope he plays well and makes a name for himself and completes the dream because as hard as it was to come back and make the cut to get on the tour, it's even harder to stay there.
Good luck JVZ, win one for the hackers.
The ultimate disappointment is to miss a put on the last hole and miss your card. I really feel bad for those guys. On the other side of the coin is Jaco Van Zyl. This guy started the 6th and final day 8 strokes back of the top 30 and a PGA Tour Card.
He closed like a champ and shot a 64 to get his card on the number at -8. I'm impressed. To come through like that on the toughest day in golf is just amazing. I can't even get the ball off the tee when I have shot at shooting under 45 for nine holes.
Clearly I'm going to be a fan of this guy and keeping an eye on his progress in the upcoming season. I really hope he plays well and makes a name for himself and completes the dream because as hard as it was to come back and make the cut to get on the tour, it's even harder to stay there.
Good luck JVZ, win one for the hackers.
Friday, December 01, 2006
College Football Playoffs
It's a dream. At least for now. It would be amazing to have a college football playoff to look forward to instead of just a bunch of BCS controversy. A lot of people worry that a playoff would lessen the importance of the regular season which is unmatched in intensity by any other sport.
I think I have the solution. My plan would not only bring a playoff to college football but would actually INCREASE the regular season intensity.
The playoff would consist of 8 teams. I think 4 is too few and 16 is too many.
Here is the key. The 6 current BCS conferences would each get one automatic bid to the playoffs for its winner. Everyone else in those conferences has no shot. If you don't win your conference, you have no business playing for a national title. End of story. Obviously, conferences that do not currently have a conference title game would be pressed to have one, so that the conference champion could be decided on the field. Regardless of that, only the winner of the conference, however it is decided, would move on. That alone would renew rivalries and make every conference game even more important than it is now.
The remaining two spots would be reserved for the two teams with the best records from smaller conferences or independents. Voting would have no effect. If there were three independent or small conference teams with the same record, then the two with the highest strength of schedule would get the spots. This will encourage teams to play tougher games throughout the year, thus making college football even more watchable. Plus, teams like Boise St this year would get in because they went undefeated. They don't have to care about useless voters giving them attention, they just have to focus on winning.
I think that my plan would not only mantain the college fooball regular season intensity as it is now, but it would be incredibly fair as to how you get in. Win your conference and your in. Win more games and play a tougher schedule than other teams if you aren't in a major conference, and you are in.
Who wouldn't want to watch that?
I think I have the solution. My plan would not only bring a playoff to college football but would actually INCREASE the regular season intensity.
The playoff would consist of 8 teams. I think 4 is too few and 16 is too many.
Here is the key. The 6 current BCS conferences would each get one automatic bid to the playoffs for its winner. Everyone else in those conferences has no shot. If you don't win your conference, you have no business playing for a national title. End of story. Obviously, conferences that do not currently have a conference title game would be pressed to have one, so that the conference champion could be decided on the field. Regardless of that, only the winner of the conference, however it is decided, would move on. That alone would renew rivalries and make every conference game even more important than it is now.
The remaining two spots would be reserved for the two teams with the best records from smaller conferences or independents. Voting would have no effect. If there were three independent or small conference teams with the same record, then the two with the highest strength of schedule would get the spots. This will encourage teams to play tougher games throughout the year, thus making college football even more watchable. Plus, teams like Boise St this year would get in because they went undefeated. They don't have to care about useless voters giving them attention, they just have to focus on winning.
I think that my plan would not only mantain the college fooball regular season intensity as it is now, but it would be incredibly fair as to how you get in. Win your conference and your in. Win more games and play a tougher schedule than other teams if you aren't in a major conference, and you are in.
Who wouldn't want to watch that?
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Anybody Out There
I'm really curious at this point who is reading this blog, so if you don't mind, please leave a comment below, even if this is your first and only visit.
I have that map on the right side that tells me where all my hits are coming from and at this point I have hits from a lot of different countries so I'm just curious.
I have that map on the right side that tells me where all my hits are coming from and at this point I have hits from a lot of different countries so I'm just curious.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Passwords
I hate passwords, but I understand the necessity for them. The really annoying part is the fact that some websites I use have different rules for how your user name or password has to be formulated. If you are like me you have accounts at hundreds of sites across the internet so how can you keep track of it all?
I try to use the same user name and password as often as possible. I know "they" tell you not to do that, but to me it's safer than keeping a list of user names and passwords somewhere that could be discovered by someone else.
The problem is that if I come to a site that that user name and password doesn't work, I'm toast. There is no hope of me remembering which variation of things that I had to use to jump through that web site's particular hoops. My only recourse is to follow the dreaded "Forgot your user name or password" link, which is sometimes easy and sometimes not.
Normally at this point of the blog I would suggest a witty and slightly humorous new method of identifying people that would make things simpler, but I've got nothing. It's just one of those annoying side effects that comes along with technological progress. Yes, I can do almost anything from my computer, but sometimes it's simpler to just drive to the bank.
I try to use the same user name and password as often as possible. I know "they" tell you not to do that, but to me it's safer than keeping a list of user names and passwords somewhere that could be discovered by someone else.
The problem is that if I come to a site that that user name and password doesn't work, I'm toast. There is no hope of me remembering which variation of things that I had to use to jump through that web site's particular hoops. My only recourse is to follow the dreaded "Forgot your user name or password" link, which is sometimes easy and sometimes not.
Normally at this point of the blog I would suggest a witty and slightly humorous new method of identifying people that would make things simpler, but I've got nothing. It's just one of those annoying side effects that comes along with technological progress. Yes, I can do almost anything from my computer, but sometimes it's simpler to just drive to the bank.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
That's Great
We went to a party for my nephew and his wife this past weekend and for the first time I realized something kind of funny.
I knew that by marrying my wife that I had instantly become an Uncle, but I realized that now that Daniel and Liz have a boy, that at 29 , I am already a Great Uncle.
I feel partly honored and partly old to have achieved this status already. If all goes well I could potentially achieve a Great Great Great Uncle title at some point. How often does that happen?
Well that gives me something to laugh about as I get ready to turn 30 next summer. If you need me I'll be at the drug store picking up a new cane and some denture cream.
I knew that by marrying my wife that I had instantly become an Uncle, but I realized that now that Daniel and Liz have a boy, that at 29 , I am already a Great Uncle.
I feel partly honored and partly old to have achieved this status already. If all goes well I could potentially achieve a Great Great Great Uncle title at some point. How often does that happen?
Well that gives me something to laugh about as I get ready to turn 30 next summer. If you need me I'll be at the drug store picking up a new cane and some denture cream.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
The Show of the Century
Yikes it's been almost a month since I last posted. Sorry about that. I've got to get better at keeping this updated.
Apparently the show on TV last night at around 5:30 was great. Probably epic. It was so profoundly interesting that I'm sure that it has changed the world. What was it? I have no idea, I wasn't paying attention, but Kylie was.
She was so enthralled and entranced by said show, that she decided that going to the bathroom and missing a few seconds of this monumental TV event was not worth the risk. So she peed herself in the chair and continued to watch.
Kylie will turn 3 in a couple of weeks and is fully potty trained so I can't imagine what must have been going through her head, although she has obviously inherited her Dad's trademark laziness. (Before you ask, I have never peed myself for TV as far as I can remember. Although with my DVR gone, I guess you never know...)
Her plan did backfire however due to the cleanup time and the 3 minute "timeout", so I guess she didn't fully weigh the risks, but that will come with time. It just cracks me up how things that we never even think of can be perfectly acceptable options for a 2 year old...
Apparently the show on TV last night at around 5:30 was great. Probably epic. It was so profoundly interesting that I'm sure that it has changed the world. What was it? I have no idea, I wasn't paying attention, but Kylie was.
She was so enthralled and entranced by said show, that she decided that going to the bathroom and missing a few seconds of this monumental TV event was not worth the risk. So she peed herself in the chair and continued to watch.
Kylie will turn 3 in a couple of weeks and is fully potty trained so I can't imagine what must have been going through her head, although she has obviously inherited her Dad's trademark laziness. (Before you ask, I have never peed myself for TV as far as I can remember. Although with my DVR gone, I guess you never know...)
Her plan did backfire however due to the cleanup time and the 3 minute "timeout", so I guess she didn't fully weigh the risks, but that will come with time. It just cracks me up how things that we never even think of can be perfectly acceptable options for a 2 year old...
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