The Top Ten

Excuses of Last Minute Christmas Shoppers

10. The malls are too crowded. (Well, hmm, I suppose if you wait long enough, that problem will go away.)

9. My family is too hard to buy for. (Yes, I'm sure your wife will blame herself when she opens her screw driver set from Odd Lots.)

8. The season has become too commercialized. (So has your TV, but you haven't missed any episodes of "Regis and Kelly".)

7. I hate going out in this weather. (So you work from home in the winter? How do I apply for your job?)

6. I'm just too busy. (Me too, so I'll just grab a stapler for you from the supply cabinet and we'll call it even.)

5. Christmas just snuck up on me. (It does that to me too. It hides under all the other pages in my calendar until the last second and then *POP* there it is.)

4. I'm waiting to find it on sale. (The next sale is after Christmas, so what are you trying to say?)

3. I'm planning to go tomorrow. (Isn't "tomorrow" the same day that you planned to start working out?)

2. There just aren't enough hours in the day. (So I guess we'll blame this one on God. Clearly he messed up by only giving us 24 hours. How can we possibly get things done on time?)

And the number one excuse for last minute Christmas shoppers:

1. I'm Jewish (Well I guess I'll have to write a list for Hannuka shoppers too. You da man Dave!)