A friend yesterday was talking about a funny story he had heard about a company that advertises on bums. According to them, it's a mutually beneficial operation. Money in exchange for advertising. Check it out for yourself at www.bumvertising.com
I'm wondering if, as a bum, this wouldn't mess with your credibility just a little bit. Holding a sign that says, "Will work for food, brought to you by Nike", just doesn't seem all that believable, and too many of us have heard the legends of the bums who are bringing in six figures just from handouts, so they are already fighting a negative image.
I would think that this would work better in reverse. Companies that wanted to push some sort of smear campaign could pay bums to hold up signs that say, "I lost my house because of Penzoil Oil Filters, can you please help me." That way, you are still indirectly getting more business without adversely affecting the bum's and at the same time hosing your competition.
Of course, I can't really see this as an upstanding thing to do no matter which way you go, but that doesn't prevent me from poking fun at the idea.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
Hiring Tactics
So if you were a business owner, and you really wanted to be sure that you hired people that had luck on their side. How could you garauntee that they had the nack of ending up on the right side of things? Clearly you could get a stack of resumes full of people who were qualified and knew how to do the job well, but how do you sort out the truly lucky ones from the unlucky ones?
Simple: Throw away all but 5 of the resumes you recieve without even looking at them. Anyone lucky enough to survive that kind of process is definetly your kind of guy.
If you would like my financial advice, please send me $100 and I will tell you how to make all the money you need. (which basically consists of getting people to send you $100 by offering financial advice on your blog)
Simple: Throw away all but 5 of the resumes you recieve without even looking at them. Anyone lucky enough to survive that kind of process is definetly your kind of guy.
If you would like my financial advice, please send me $100 and I will tell you how to make all the money you need. (which basically consists of getting people to send you $100 by offering financial advice on your blog)
Friday, January 27, 2006
Goose Cannon
Normally when you walk in to the parking lot at work, you don't expect to see someone carrying a shotgun around. According the email I got this week, it could happen however.
Apparently, because of all the ponds we have on campus here, they are required by law to "harass" the canadien geese that routinely hang out, so that they won't nest here. That harassment consists of firing blank rounds from a shotgun to scare them off.
I think that the company is missing a great opportunity here for a stress relief program. We could rotate the goose duty among the employees, and give everyone a chance to fire off some harmless rounds at geese. What better way to burn off a little stress?
Of course, there are the obvious dangers that someone might abuse the opportunity to have a shotgun in their hands at work. Obviously no one wants that, but in a perfect world, firing off some blanks at a bunch of geese sounds like a lot of fun to me.
Apparently, because of all the ponds we have on campus here, they are required by law to "harass" the canadien geese that routinely hang out, so that they won't nest here. That harassment consists of firing blank rounds from a shotgun to scare them off.
I think that the company is missing a great opportunity here for a stress relief program. We could rotate the goose duty among the employees, and give everyone a chance to fire off some harmless rounds at geese. What better way to burn off a little stress?
Of course, there are the obvious dangers that someone might abuse the opportunity to have a shotgun in their hands at work. Obviously no one wants that, but in a perfect world, firing off some blanks at a bunch of geese sounds like a lot of fun to me.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Jurassic Ice
No it isn't a retirement home for bad rappers, but it is a funny thought. Gold plated dentures and wheel chairs with spinner rims immediately come to mind.
Actually, it's a discovery made by some researchers in the last few days. They drilled down into the arctic in order to get this really old sample of ice that they hope will unlock some info concerning the global climate from way back in the day.
I love science, but I can't help hoping sometimes that something horrible will go wrong with one of these experiments, just for the sheer comedic value. Like finding that the ice had a high urine content and then analyzing it only to discover that some guy peed over the rail of a cruise ship onto an iceberg that would in some way show that the ultra smart scientists actually were going nuts over 3 month old ice and didn't know it. Something about smart people being horribly wrong just makes me feel better sometimes.
It doesn't happen often, but it makes little people like me a wee bit happier. Sorry I just had to get the word "wee" into this somehow.
Actually, it's a discovery made by some researchers in the last few days. They drilled down into the arctic in order to get this really old sample of ice that they hope will unlock some info concerning the global climate from way back in the day.
I love science, but I can't help hoping sometimes that something horrible will go wrong with one of these experiments, just for the sheer comedic value. Like finding that the ice had a high urine content and then analyzing it only to discover that some guy peed over the rail of a cruise ship onto an iceberg that would in some way show that the ultra smart scientists actually were going nuts over 3 month old ice and didn't know it. Something about smart people being horribly wrong just makes me feel better sometimes.
It doesn't happen often, but it makes little people like me a wee bit happier. Sorry I just had to get the word "wee" into this somehow.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Back in the Swing
No excercise for me this week, since I seem to have blown out my lower back. As best as I can figure, it was caused by a combination of the lifting I did last week and practicing my golf swing. Am I really old enough to be having these kinds of things happen to me?
I weighed in at 181 sunday morning, so I'm going to try and be strict with my diet again for a week or two so that I can try to get my body fat under 8%. That will be hard with no excercise at all this week.
I weighed in at 181 sunday morning, so I'm going to try and be strict with my diet again for a week or two so that I can try to get my body fat under 8%. That will be hard with no excercise at all this week.
Friday, January 20, 2006
On a Roll
Why in the world do dogs think that the best thing in the world that they could possibly do with their time is to find the deadest, nastiest thing in your yard and roll in it?
Despite the fact that my dog hates getting a bath, and knows it's coming as soon as she finds something to roll in, she doesn't hesitate for a second.
It doesn't help that we have a big yard that is right next to a woods. She is provided with a miriad of wonderful dead options. It's like a la carte for dogs.
I can just see a dog dressed up like a waiter standing next to a velvet rope in front of the woods with a sign over his head that reads "All You Can Roll $7.95".
At least my dog is white, and can't hide the big nasty stains. I feel really bad for people with black dogs because they don't see it coming. Their dogs have already been in the house and all over the furniture before they discover it.
And as far as the bath goes. I've had to devise a strategy to get the least soaked I can. I say it that way because there is no way whatsoever to come out completely dry. My plan basically consists of drying her until she gets out of my grip and then using the towel as a shield. The bathroom takes a beating, but better it than me.
Oh well, I suppose it could be worse. The cat drives my wife nuts by dropping mice and snakes at our back door all the time. I'm not afraid of either so I don't really care but it bugs the crud out of her.
Despite the fact that my dog hates getting a bath, and knows it's coming as soon as she finds something to roll in, she doesn't hesitate for a second.
It doesn't help that we have a big yard that is right next to a woods. She is provided with a miriad of wonderful dead options. It's like a la carte for dogs.
I can just see a dog dressed up like a waiter standing next to a velvet rope in front of the woods with a sign over his head that reads "All You Can Roll $7.95".
At least my dog is white, and can't hide the big nasty stains. I feel really bad for people with black dogs because they don't see it coming. Their dogs have already been in the house and all over the furniture before they discover it.
And as far as the bath goes. I've had to devise a strategy to get the least soaked I can. I say it that way because there is no way whatsoever to come out completely dry. My plan basically consists of drying her until she gets out of my grip and then using the towel as a shield. The bathroom takes a beating, but better it than me.
Oh well, I suppose it could be worse. The cat drives my wife nuts by dropping mice and snakes at our back door all the time. I'm not afraid of either so I don't really care but it bugs the crud out of her.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Fitness Update
As promised on monday, I was able to get my body fat tested today. I had the head trainer do it this time, and will only have her do it from now on so as not to introduce any kind of inconsistancy to the measurements.
She said that I'm at 11.8% which is a little higher than I had been told before. I still really want to be under 8% and I asked her about that. She said that for the goals that I have that I will need to get it down under 8% but that I shouldn't let it fall below 6%.
If you don't know, they measure this in an interesting way. They take 3 measurements with a small set of callipers of different parts of your body. They're different for men and women. In my case, she measured my chest stomach and thigh.
Here is what I measured:
Chest: 7 mm
Stomach: 22 mm
Thigh: 10 mm
Then she takes that score (39) and looks it up on a chart based on my age. Clearly I still have a lot of work to do around the middle, and looking at me would seem to confirm this. That seems to be the only real "soft" spot that I still have left.
At this point, I feel like I need to eat a lot more protein, because I want to make sure that my body is getting enough fuel to build more muscle with. I'm not exactly sure what the best plan is, so maybe that should be the next thing I research.
Until next week....
She said that I'm at 11.8% which is a little higher than I had been told before. I still really want to be under 8% and I asked her about that. She said that for the goals that I have that I will need to get it down under 8% but that I shouldn't let it fall below 6%.
If you don't know, they measure this in an interesting way. They take 3 measurements with a small set of callipers of different parts of your body. They're different for men and women. In my case, she measured my chest stomach and thigh.
Here is what I measured:
Chest: 7 mm
Stomach: 22 mm
Thigh: 10 mm
Then she takes that score (39) and looks it up on a chart based on my age. Clearly I still have a lot of work to do around the middle, and looking at me would seem to confirm this. That seems to be the only real "soft" spot that I still have left.
At this point, I feel like I need to eat a lot more protein, because I want to make sure that my body is getting enough fuel to build more muscle with. I'm not exactly sure what the best plan is, so maybe that should be the next thing I research.
Until next week....
Monday, January 16, 2006
Lifting
Here it is, laugh away (I told you that this would be a funny blog). I couldn't get my body fat measured because the trainer wasn't there. I'll try again on wednesday.
3 sets of each:
Seated Cable Rows 55
Bench 85 (no that's not a misprint, I really stink at bench)
Dumbbell Shoulder Press 12
Hack Squats 45
Barbell Curls 40
Lying Dumbbell Press 25
Seated Calf Raises 105
Rope Crunches 60
3 sets of each:
Seated Cable Rows 55
Bench 85 (no that's not a misprint, I really stink at bench)
Dumbbell Shoulder Press 12
Hack Squats 45
Barbell Curls 40
Lying Dumbbell Press 25
Seated Calf Raises 105
Rope Crunches 60
Diet Update
We didn't really have a weigh in yesterday as we were out of town, but I have weighed myself enough lately to have a good enough idea of where I'm at. I usually weigh about 181-182 in the mornings, and 184.5 at night. This has been pretty consistent now for a week or two, and more or less wraps up the weight loss portion of my goals.
For about two weeks now, I have been trying to maintain my weight based on my calorie calculations from the beginning. I have figured that at 2500 a day, I should stay at about 180 or so without gaining or losing. So far it has proven to be true, but my main problem is that I tend to round out my calories by eating junk food, which isn't going to do me any good.
Today, I will try to have my fat percentage measured again, and once I do that I will post it. I learned from the head trainer that the trainer that measured me has a reputation for doing it wrong, so my 10% may not have been accurate. We'll see.
Today I intend to begin the second part of my goals. Weight lifting. I found a workout plan that seems to fit my goals and the time that I have available. It can be found here. Go to the bottom of the page to see the actual plan.
Obviously the body fat percentage will become more important, because as I build muscle, my weight will go back up, so the scales won't really give me an accurate reading on where I'm at anymore. What I'm hoping to do is to lift on Monday's and Friday's and continue going to my calisthenics class on Wednesdays. I don't want to totally ignore cardio in my training.
After I lift, I'll post what I did and how much, that way most of my friends can make fun of me. Hopefully I will be able to look back and laugh too once I get to where I want to be.
For about two weeks now, I have been trying to maintain my weight based on my calorie calculations from the beginning. I have figured that at 2500 a day, I should stay at about 180 or so without gaining or losing. So far it has proven to be true, but my main problem is that I tend to round out my calories by eating junk food, which isn't going to do me any good.
Today, I will try to have my fat percentage measured again, and once I do that I will post it. I learned from the head trainer that the trainer that measured me has a reputation for doing it wrong, so my 10% may not have been accurate. We'll see.
Today I intend to begin the second part of my goals. Weight lifting. I found a workout plan that seems to fit my goals and the time that I have available. It can be found here. Go to the bottom of the page to see the actual plan.
Obviously the body fat percentage will become more important, because as I build muscle, my weight will go back up, so the scales won't really give me an accurate reading on where I'm at anymore. What I'm hoping to do is to lift on Monday's and Friday's and continue going to my calisthenics class on Wednesdays. I don't want to totally ignore cardio in my training.
After I lift, I'll post what I did and how much, that way most of my friends can make fun of me. Hopefully I will be able to look back and laugh too once I get to where I want to be.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
The Long Stretch
I don't know about where you work, but here, we are entering a very long stretch with no holidays. After New Year's day, we don't get another one until Memorial day in May. It's a long hard stretch of 5 day weeks and predominantly bad weather.
It's hard to say exactly why there aren't more holidays during this period of time. Sure, there are bank holidays, and those of you who work for banks are probably wondering what I meant by "5 day week". The only thing I can figure is that the weather has always been too nasty for anyone to do anything historically significant during this period of time. Especially in the US. They didn't even write the Declaration of Independence until it warmed up a bit. No one wants to work when it's that cold and rainy, especially in the days before heat pumps.
Based on that data, and the fact that we get a day just for workers in the fall, I think we should all get "The Weather Stinks and I'm Cold" day, sometime around the beginning of March. That would definetly help to break things up a bit and give us something to look forward to.
Also, I think that people that live in Florida and Southern California should be forced to work 16 hours that day, just to give the rest of us a one up on them for at least one day a year. I suppose I should work on a petition to get this set up, but at this time of year, who wants to get started on a project like that?
It's hard to say exactly why there aren't more holidays during this period of time. Sure, there are bank holidays, and those of you who work for banks are probably wondering what I meant by "5 day week". The only thing I can figure is that the weather has always been too nasty for anyone to do anything historically significant during this period of time. Especially in the US. They didn't even write the Declaration of Independence until it warmed up a bit. No one wants to work when it's that cold and rainy, especially in the days before heat pumps.
Based on that data, and the fact that we get a day just for workers in the fall, I think we should all get "The Weather Stinks and I'm Cold" day, sometime around the beginning of March. That would definetly help to break things up a bit and give us something to look forward to.
Also, I think that people that live in Florida and Southern California should be forced to work 16 hours that day, just to give the rest of us a one up on them for at least one day a year. I suppose I should work on a petition to get this set up, but at this time of year, who wants to get started on a project like that?
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Lord of the Bees
I read yesterday about how scientists had struck a major blow to one of the main arguments of creationists/Intelligent Design proponents. Apparently, many of them(us) argued (stupidly, I might add) that science couldn't even explain how bees fly, so why should we be expected to believe that science can explain the origins of life?
Of course, some scientists took the time to study some bees and figured it out. (Duh) So now they are saying (stupidly) that creationists can't hold that against them anymore and that we have to accept that science can explain the world around us.
Am I the only one in the WORLD, who realizes that science and religion are not oil and water? That science can in fact do a great job of helping us to unravel the mysteries of God's design? Sure, so science can explain how bees fly. Does that rule out that someone (God) thought it up first? I think not.
I feel like Christians and scientists have been yelling at each other for so long that we have stopped listening to anything that the other side is saying. Science is a very powerful tool and when used properly can help us to understand our world better. I still believe that the whole thing was God's idea, and I don't think that those two things are mutually exclusive.
They are all just pieces of the bigger puzzle, and we all need to spend a little more time looking at the picture on the lid of the box.
Of course, some scientists took the time to study some bees and figured it out. (Duh) So now they are saying (stupidly) that creationists can't hold that against them anymore and that we have to accept that science can explain the world around us.
Am I the only one in the WORLD, who realizes that science and religion are not oil and water? That science can in fact do a great job of helping us to unravel the mysteries of God's design? Sure, so science can explain how bees fly. Does that rule out that someone (God) thought it up first? I think not.
I feel like Christians and scientists have been yelling at each other for so long that we have stopped listening to anything that the other side is saying. Science is a very powerful tool and when used properly can help us to understand our world better. I still believe that the whole thing was God's idea, and I don't think that those two things are mutually exclusive.
They are all just pieces of the bigger puzzle, and we all need to spend a little more time looking at the picture on the lid of the box.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Stamps
Last night we took Kylie to gymnastics for her second lesson. She enjoyed the first lesson but was a little scared here and there about what they asked her to do.
Last night she was really excited about going, but didn't really want to follow the instructions as much as she just wanted to run around and play. The only way we could keep her on track was to keep reminding her that if she paid attention and did what she was asked then she was going to get her hands stamped at the end.
It just made me think. How often do we have to be reminded about the "stamps" that God has offered us. I seem to forget so easily and get wrapped up in what I want to do, or stuck worrying about things that don't matter.
I think that for me, that that is why it is so important to spend time with God every day, and to try to be in constant communication with him, because, otherwise, we'll "fall off the balance beam" because we're busy looking at the rest of the gym.
Last night she was really excited about going, but didn't really want to follow the instructions as much as she just wanted to run around and play. The only way we could keep her on track was to keep reminding her that if she paid attention and did what she was asked then she was going to get her hands stamped at the end.
It just made me think. How often do we have to be reminded about the "stamps" that God has offered us. I seem to forget so easily and get wrapped up in what I want to do, or stuck worrying about things that don't matter.
I think that for me, that that is why it is so important to spend time with God every day, and to try to be in constant communication with him, because, otherwise, we'll "fall off the balance beam" because we're busy looking at the rest of the gym.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Shooooort week
Why is it that weeks where you don't work on monday always seem longer than just a normal 5 day week? It doesn't really make any sense, but every time I always feel like friday takes longer to get here when I don't have to work on monday.
The only thing that I can figure is that we somehow fool our brains into thinking that the the week is almost over from the get-go, which makes us think that we are a day or so ahead of the real calendar. Whatever the reason, it's quite annoying.
If only there were a way to put this power to good use, like say, on weekends. Weekends are always short, so if I start looking forward to mondays, then saturday and sunday will last longer?
I'm starting to confuse myself so I guess I'll stop now. I promise that once Kerrigan starts sleeping through the night I will start making sense again. Of course, that seems like a looong way off right now.
The only thing that I can figure is that we somehow fool our brains into thinking that the the week is almost over from the get-go, which makes us think that we are a day or so ahead of the real calendar. Whatever the reason, it's quite annoying.
If only there were a way to put this power to good use, like say, on weekends. Weekends are always short, so if I start looking forward to mondays, then saturday and sunday will last longer?
I'm starting to confuse myself so I guess I'll stop now. I promise that once Kerrigan starts sleeping through the night I will start making sense again. Of course, that seems like a looong way off right now.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
"Frosted" Flakes
I recently saw a news report that stated that some research institution somewhere had "discovered" that there may be some advantages to drinking a beer early in the morning. Personally I have to wonder at the wisdom of this type of reporting. Sure, most people will find it funny and forget about it 10 seconds later, but what about the people that don't?
I'm sure that there is some Joe-schmo out there in his stained wife-beater t-shirt who just got the greatest news of his life. Normally he didn't start drinking until lunch but now, he'll be more than toasted by 11am.
Sometimes all people need is an excuse to rationalize anything. As long as someone out there says it's good, then they don't care. The fictional committee of "they" is a great example of this. How many times have you heard someone tell you that "they" say that this or that is really good for you, and then you press them as to who "they" really are, and they have no idea.
I just think it's funny that if "the great and all knowing committee of They", as I like to call them, gives you the go ahead, then you can go right ahead and chuck your own common sense out the door and do whatever you want.
Of course in this day and age, it's very hard to separate truth from fiction anyway, which makes it very hard to ever know if anything you hear or read is actually true. I'm getting the point where I just assume that what I hear or read is likely, but not necessarily set in stone. I mean, at one point, everyone on earth would have called you an idiot if you told them that the Earth was round.
Well it's like "they" say, you can't pick'em all
I'm sure that there is some Joe-schmo out there in his stained wife-beater t-shirt who just got the greatest news of his life. Normally he didn't start drinking until lunch but now, he'll be more than toasted by 11am.
Sometimes all people need is an excuse to rationalize anything. As long as someone out there says it's good, then they don't care. The fictional committee of "they" is a great example of this. How many times have you heard someone tell you that "they" say that this or that is really good for you, and then you press them as to who "they" really are, and they have no idea.
I just think it's funny that if "the great and all knowing committee of They", as I like to call them, gives you the go ahead, then you can go right ahead and chuck your own common sense out the door and do whatever you want.
Of course in this day and age, it's very hard to separate truth from fiction anyway, which makes it very hard to ever know if anything you hear or read is actually true. I'm getting the point where I just assume that what I hear or read is likely, but not necessarily set in stone. I mean, at one point, everyone on earth would have called you an idiot if you told them that the Earth was round.
Well it's like "they" say, you can't pick'em all
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
VALU LIF
I saw this on a license plate this past week on our way to my wife's parents house for Christmas. Clearly this was a person that had clear understanding of how to be a healthy individual. Or maybe this was just an anti-abortion statement. Either way, I felt like I needed to see this person who valued life so much.
Unfortunately I couldn't get a very good view of his face because he was holding his cigarette out the window and it blocked my view.
Oh well, at least I know that there is one person out there that truly values life.
Unfortunately I couldn't get a very good view of his face because he was holding his cigarette out the window and it blocked my view.
Oh well, at least I know that there is one person out there that truly values life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)