Last night was a bit depressing. We went to the pool and took the girls swimming for the first time this year. Kylie was still pretty tentative but Kerrigan took right to it like she'd been doing it for ages. Our girls continue to be different in every way.
I've been feeling pretty good about the progress I've been making with my fitness training and the results are definetly there. I obviously lost a lot of weight, and now with the lifting I'm doing I can start to see the muscle definition coming in. The "mirror test" tells me that I'm definetly making progress, and I have started getting excited about when I might be able to say that I look the way I want to.
Last night, reality hit me over the head. We were playing in the pool and this male lifeguard walks by. This dude was probably 17, if that and just totally ripped. Not huge but very defined and not an ounce of fat on him. Suddenly I felt like I might as well be 400 pounds and eating donuts for every meal for all the good I've done compared to this guy. It was pretty depressing.
I realize that had I done this workout and stuff when I was his age it probably would have taken me about a month to look like that, but the fact that I'm probably close to twice his age means that I have to work a lot harder to get there. I was really kicking myself that I didn't take some "before" pictures last fall because I know I have come a LONG way from where I started, and it would have been encouraging to actually see the progress that has been made.
I know I need to just keep at it. I'm on the right track and it might take a while but I'm going to get there. It's just hard to not be frustrated sometimes.
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